No More
by klutzysunshine
Summary: Missing scene from "She's Leaving Home". Addison is devastated when she gets yet another phone call she doesn't want.


**I don't own Grey's Anatomy nor I will ever. No copyright infringement intended.**

* * *

When Jake walked through the door with the kids, he found a pale Addison clutching her phone like her life depended on it. "What's wrong?"

Addison bit her lip to hold the tears in but failed. "I just got a phone call from Seattle. Derek was in a car accident and he didn't make it. He's dead, Jake."

He gently set the car seat down on the floor and rushed to his wife's side, holding his arms open so she could collapse in them. "I'm so sorry."

"Both Mark and Derek are gone now. Fuck." She didn't even care that Henry could hear her and looked terrified - the poor little boy had no idea what was even going on.

"We're going to the funeral?"

She nodded. "I need to say goodbye. I can't believe he's gone." Addison didn't know if she could handle any more of these phone calls. It was too much. "That was Callie who called and she said Meredith's a mess. Oh God, how are his mothers and sisters going to handle this? And Derek left two babies behind."

Melinda begin to cry so Addison wiped the tears off her face to go check on her three month old daughter, the surprise baby she and Jake never expected to conceive. "Mama's here, sweetheart. She's not going to leave you." Tears welled up in her eyes again. "Can you come hug me?" she implored Henry.

The little boy was still confused but he nodded. "Feel better," Henry told her after he finished embracing his mother.

"Thank you, baby." She rocked Melinda back and forth and then turned to Jake. "We need to go to the funeral."

"I'll go book us a flight." Jake kissed all three of them and then headed over to the laptop so he could find the next flight to Seattle. Fortunately, it only took him about fifteen minutes and he grabbed tickets for all of them.

After putting Henry and Melinda to bed, Addison crawled into bed and stared up at ceiling, unable to sleep. "I barely remember the last time I even saw him. I'm pretty sure it was Mark's funeral, actually, but what did we do?"

Jake turned around to look at his wife. "I'm here if you need to talk."

"I know. I love you, and thank you for all of this." And then her face crumpled and she burst into sobs again. He grabbed her hand and let her cry her grief out.

Jake called the practice the next morning to let them know what was going on. Sam and Naomi offered their condolences and decided to send flowers to the funeral home.

The fact that Amelia was smiling widely when they showed up at the house set off alarm bells in Addison. "Are you feeling okay? Do you need to go to a meeting?" she asked.

She shook her head. "I'm totally fine. Derek's dead and I'm just helping out with his kids!"

"Henry, why don't you go play with Zola and Bailey?" Addison squatted down next to her suddenly shy son.

"I want to stay with you and Daddy."

"Well, Zola and Bailey need someone to talk to you and I think you can be their friend." She smiled at her son until he walked up and introduced himself to the two Shepherd kids.

"Meredith is dealing with arrangements but she is mostly out of it. It's weird." The smile stuck on Amelia's face disturbed both Addison and Jake.

"Have you eaten anything? I'm sure we can order some pizza," Addison tried.

"I'm not hungry. I need to go to work, actually. Not sure if Owen will let me but hey, I can at least try!" And then Amelia pushed her way out of the house and bolted to the hospital.

Meredith came out of the kitchen and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw them. "Hi."

"Hi. We came as soon as we could. Meredith, I am so sorry this has happened." Tears welled up in her eyes again and Addison choked them back down so she could comfort Meredith.

Meredith could only bob her head. "It was sudden and there was nothing anybody could do." She looked down at the car seat Jake was holding. "Your daughter's adorable. Congratulations."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Um, where are you guys staying? The Shepherds booked an entire floor at a hotel room and I'm sure you can bunk with them. They won't mind. There's so much shit to do I don't even know where to start." Meredith felt numb and she couldn't think about what lay ahead next.

"I already called Kathleen and worked it out with her. We just wanted to stop by and see how you and Amelia were doing first." A concerned Addison checked her over to make sure nothing was amiss.

"I'm handling it just fine."

She sounded robotic so neither Addison nor Jake quite bought it but neither of them felt like calling her out on it. It wasn't their place. "Great. We'll be out of your hair in a few minutes."

It wasn't until they were at the hotel and were confronted with multiple grieving Shepherds that Addison fell apart again. Jake stayed by her side so she could let out her grief. "You don't have to bury your grief, Addison. That's what we're here for."

"I know." She missed Derek so fucking much and hadn't even seen the man in years. Her ex-husband was dead and she'd never get to make fun of him again. Addison took comfort in the fact that maybe Derek and Mark were together again and most likely up to their old tricks. "It's bad that I'm terrified I'll get bad news every time the phone rings now, right? This has happened way too many times, Jake."

"It has, and this never should have happened but we can't turn back time. But grieve for the man you lost because there's nothing wrong with feeling this way."

* * *

Meredith seemed like she was in a daze at the funeral and Addison wondered if she was still in shock. Apparently dehydration hadn't helped much either, according to Bailey. "If you ever need anything, call me because I won't hesitate to drop what I'm doing," she told Meredith.

Meredith didn't respond verbally and only nodded. "We're still working on it," Amelia stage whispered. Addison glared at her best friend but only received a shrug in return when Meredith didn't even pay any attention to their antics.

Cristina hovered around Meredith's side constantly and Addison was grateful that she had this support system even though the other doctor couldn't stay too long. "I'm going to be calling you too to check up on you, Amelia." She feared another relapse.

Amelia waved off her concerns. "I'm fine. Don't even worry about it. I'm totally fine. Look, I'm alive!"

Addison went to open her mouth to say something but Jake stopped her. "Leave her go, this is the way she handles her grief."

Burying Derek was one of the hardest things Addison had to witness in her life and she had already buried several loved ones. This was her ex-husband and he'd never get to see his children grow up. It was a really fucked up situation.

She tried to ply Meredith with food at the wake but she just sat on the couch and stared off into space the entire time. Amelia promised to handle the situation and told them not to worry.

* * *

Returning to LA wasn't easy but Addison boarded the plane with only some hesitation. She was horrified to learn Meredith had taken off the kids and checked in on Amelia as often as she could before the constant jokes got to her and she stopped.

Then Amelia called her one day out of the blue. "Hi."

"Hi. How are you?"

"Not good. Derek's dead and he's never coming back."

Addison sniffled as the grief returned. "I know. It really sucks."

"I almost relapsed the other day," Amelia admitted.

Addison straightened herself out. "Almost?"

"Yeah. But Owen helped me and I finally cried. Then I went to a meeting for the first time in a long time. It felt good. And Meredith's back." Amelia waited to drop the bomb on her just to surprise Addison.

"That's great! How are she and the kids?" Addison hoped they were all safe and sound although she was still pissed Meredith had taken off like that.

"They're all fine. Turns out Derek knocked her up again before she died so she came back with a baby that looks just like him. Her name is Ellis Alexandra. I have another niece." Amelia planned to spend as much time as she could with Zola, Bailey, and Ellis. She really didn't want to let them out of her sight again.

"Oh! That's great news, I guess." At least there was another little piece of Derek in the world.

"Yeah. Thanks for being so concerned, Addison. I was a little hostile." Amelia felt guilty about that and knew she'd have to make it up to her.

"Don't even worry about it, Amy. You lost your brother. I still miss Derek too. Can I call you and check in on you every now and then? I don't want to stifle you."

"You won't stifle me."

After they hung up, Addison started crying for the first time in a long time for the ex-husband she had lost. She'd miss him - and the others she had lost - for the rest of her life. But with Jake, their kids, and family by their side, life could return to normal because something had felt off since Derek's death. But now it was like the world had righted itself again and she looked forward to experiencing some more joy.


End file.
